What’s the Worst Thing That Can Happen?

Note to the reader: Moments after I posted this blog entry, where I reference my own fear of flying, I learned of this morning’s plane crash in NY that killed 50 people. My thoughts and prayers are with the victims’ families. This tragedy further illustrates that sometimes things happen we can’t explain– we have all experienced tragedies and loss that break our hearts, that shake us to the core. This is my wish for myself and all you who read this: While we mourn and remember those lives that are cut short, we continue to face our own fears and live our lives to the fullest.

What’s the worst thing that can happen?

I often ask myself this question before I make a decision. Then I weigh the odds: If I study for a test, odds are favorable I won’t flunk. If I prepare the coffee pot in the evening, so all I have to do is hit the start button when I wake in the morning, odds are good I’ll have my first sip of java before I’ve had the opportunity to growl at anyone.

I can do my part, but if I’m eating peanuts in coach, I certainly can’t fly the plane. I can’t stop the birds from flying into the engine. I can’t jump inside the cockpit and save the day.

But in all situations, I can pray for, hope for, and even expect, the best.

“What’s the worst thing that can happen?” I asked myself, as I planned a cross-country trip to California last month. I was traveling alone, 4 months pregnant and feeling pretty confident I had arranged a safe, smooth itinerary. I was looking forward to the writing workshop I would be attending. Still, in the back of my mind, there was this fear.

The plane could crash.

It was not my intention to die on this trip. That was NO WHERE in my travel plans. I looked at the odds. There was always a chance, albeit a slim one, the plane would plummet towards the dirt. That shook me a little. But this trip was important to me, and so I reconciled it was worth the risk.

Living a full, meaningful life involves a certain degree of risk. We don’t have to dive off buildings like Batman to understand it’s rough out there. When we expose ourselves, open our hearts and make decisions that shake up the status quo, we always risk getting hurt.

But what happens when we play it safe? What do we risk then?

“What’s the worst thing that can happen?” Someone I respect and admire asked me this, years ago, as I agonized over whether to change careers and venture into the scary unknown world of disapproval and well, scary things. Her question challenged me to examine the source of my fear. Fear can be a powerful bully, and it’s often rooted in insecurity. That’s the moment I realized what causes me to worry and feel afraid is very rarely something that can actually harm me.

Here’s an example:

“If I go to the beach without sunscreen, I’m afraid I’ll get a sun burn.”

Yes, the sun can burn us. But is there any real reason to be afraid of it? When we take a closer look, we discover we have many options:

I think I’ll stay inside today.
I’ll hide in the shadows of a big umbrella, slather on SPF 180 and stay out for no more than 20 minutes.
I’m going to wear SPF 30 and a hat and get outside and play. My nose may get a little pink, but it’s a beautiful day!
What the heck? Fry me up like a catfish! Who needs sunscreen anyway?-OR-
I haven’t decided where I stand on this issue. May I have a little more time to think about it and get back to you?

See all the choices we have? And what’s the risk associated with each? That depends on what matters most to you. You have to decide if it’s more important to be vigilant about sun damage or to get outside and play. Or if you think both are equally important, and so you find a healthy compromise.

Decide what’s important to you. Weigh your options. Assess your risk. And then go fly! Live your life. Pray like crazy and summon every angel you know. But do yourself a favor and leave your fear on the tarmac.

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