This one’s for the girls…

Today’s post celebrates the healing power of sisterhood. The blessings of kindred spirits. Those relationships that transcend the boundaries of time and distance.  So think of all your soul sisters and make yourself comfortable as I introduce you to one of mine…

She talks about faith, courage, overcoming adversity and waiting for love. And the power of wearing a sexy pair of shoes. Through her own personal stories in her blog, We Can Fly, Doretha Walker speaks to every woman.

Angie: Doretha, I’m honored to be on your list of sistergirlfriends. And the feeling is mutual. We met at a networking event and quickly bonded. Tell me what “sistergirlfriend” means to you.

Doretha Walker: I remember when we met; you gave me great ideas about how to jazz up my blog.  I have learned to value my female friendships. Lately I have started weeding out those who always bring me drama. I do my best to live in a drama free zone.  Now I have only selective people in my circle. At this point in my life, I surround myself with women who appreciate, support, and want good for me and more importantly want it for themselves. They are less talk and more action. They will jump in the trenches with me. I will do the same for them. It is all about achieving, sharing, and enjoying those achievements. Those are my dear sistergirlfriends.  And yes, you are a charter member of that club. I do have a select group of male friends, but dear brotherboyfriend doesn’t have the same ring and there are not too many of them. 

Angie: Yes, you’re right. I’m thankful for a handful of dear brotherboyfriends, but there’s nothing like having a soul sister. If we were born in our parents’ and grandparents’ generations, it may not have been as easy for us to be sistergirlfriends.  To me, that’s a tragedy…

Walker:  That is very sad. It is always sad when people cannot be friends because of the way they look or where they were born. Whether it is black/white or right side/wrong side of the tracks, discrimination is never right and both sides lose. Fortunately my dad was in the Army and I went to integrated schools my whole life. By the time I was ‘told’ who not to like I had already eaten dinner at their houses! I lived several years in Europe and visited several countries. I always treated people with respect and was treated respectfully. I remember people coming up to me in college saying that they had never gone to school with a Black person before. I found that odd that they were proud of that. I wasn’t sure how to respond, so I just nodded and smiled.

Angie: I love your blog, We Can Fly. The essence of your writing is found on the home page:

“For a very long time, no one told African American women that they could fly, so there are very few of them as commercial pilots. This website is for inspiring women to fly. Flying being defined as succeeding. Succeeding defined however you decide. We are simply here to tell you girlfriend, YOU CAN FLY!”

What does success mean to you?

Walker: Success to me is attempting and/or finishing my list of things to do each year and trying and/or completing other goals as they pop up. I stopped making New Year’s resolutions. Now every year I make a list of things to do.  One year, I had take belly dancing lessons, laugh more, do something fun once a month, and complete a marathon.   

Walker with Center for Women Director Jennet Robinson Alterman

In the past few years I stopped looking at success as something official. I started thinking of it similar to flying; daring to make the attempt is often more rewarding than the accomplishment. I have to remind myself of that when my faculty mentor keeps sending back my papers peppered in red ink or when it is taking me FOREVER to complete a marathon. I used to have this fear of being the last one to cross the finish line. Then I realized that I should be thankful that I even started the race. My mantra is ‘MY RACE, MY PACE’. It works in most situations I encounter. Especially when I realized that no one is keeping score, but me.

One of my greatest successes is the establishment of the Walker Phenomenal Spirit Award. It funds women’s dreams. The woman must be 35 years old or older and have a dream. It is that simple. I have a board that assists me in selecting a winner. So far we have awarded three exceptional women. This is all handled through the Center for Women.

Angie: The Center for Women has had such a positive impact on both of us.

Walker: Absolutely! I have met some amazing women through the center. I even met Oprah! Yes, it is true, there is a picture. I have also learned the power of networking through the center.

Oprah Visits Center for Women

Angie: Oh, there you are! Second from Oprah’s right. You’re a very busy woman. You have a full-time job; you are the president of the Center for Women board. You’re pursuing your PhD. What motivates you to author your blog on a regular basis?

Walker: I wanted a place to go when the world was not giving me what I thought I should have. You know, when life keeps handing you lemons and you already have enough lemonade to last you for the rest of your life. I needed a place to put all of the inspirational quotes and scriptures other than my bathroom mirror. Also I felt the need to share my stuff. Actually a dear sistergirlfriend had told me to write a blog a couple of years ago. I told her I didn’t have anything to say. Then another dear sistergirlfriend gave me the idea about the title. Once I started writing, I couldn’t stop. I take great pleasure in showcasing others in the blog as well.

Angie: I love the music on your blog- from Carly Simon, Aretha Franklin and India Arie to Carole King, Beyonce and the Dixie Chicks. That’s my kind of play list! I often pull up your blog just to listen and lift my spirits.

Walker: The music idea came from another dear sistergirlfriend. Most people enjoy it. I love all types of music and enjoyed making the play list. It is nice to be able to hear exactly what I want to hear whether the genre is rock, folk, country, or R&B. There are days at work when I just pull up the blog and let the music play.

Angie: Before I go, I have to ask you about this: Recently you participated in the Stiletto Stampede. The world wants to know, how on earth did you run in those heels?

Walker's Sexy Shoes

Walker: Very, very, very slowly and carefully. I jumped over the women who fell. I was afraid of falling or twisting my ankles. I enjoyed seeing the various types of shoes out there. Lots of different styles, colors, and textures. Someone should have taken a picture of our feet. It is sort of sad that a man won, but that is equal opportunity at its finest. If we can allow a man to enter and compete in 3 inch heels, why can’t women get equal pay for equal work? I know, I know, that is another issue. I had a great time.

You can learn more about the great Doretha Walker by visiting her blog.

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