Wanted: moms seeking balance

We’re good at juggling, multi-tasking and wearing PB&J and spit-up like a badge of honor. We love our kids. And we are so blessed. But have you ever felt overwhelmed, unattractive, uncool and exhausted? Have you ever slumped down on the couch and cried, “But what about me???”

And then two seconds later felt guilty for feeling that way?

I know I have. Over the past three years I have embraced my role as mommy, while at the same time, I have struggled to find my own place in the world. Not everyone can relate. But I do know I’m not alone. Whether you work outside the home, do the part-time thing, or stay at home full-time with your children, chances are you have felt out-of-balance. Along the way, I’ve found comfort and support from women who have walked in my shoes.

Today, I’m happy to have the privilege of sharing my conversation with Bria Simpson, life and business coach for moms and the author of one of my favorite books, “The Balanced Mom, Raising Your Kids Without Losing Your Self.”

Angie: Bria, first of all, thank you! I am a fan of your work and am honored you’ve taken the time to share your insights with my blog readers. I discovered your book several years ago as I was wandering through Barnes & Noble, no doubt searching for a book on how to teach my son to sleep. I was struggling with how to balance work and the responsibilities of motherhood, along with my need to exercise and do the little things, like take a daily shower. “The Balanced Mom” was easy to read and exactly what I needed. What inspired the book?

Bria Simpson: There was nothing out there like it! I was coaching moms on how to balance their lives and hold onto their selves throughout motherhood and they would ask me “Is there a book to help keep me going?” I looked and couldn’t find one- so I decided to write a simple book with quick tips on how to BOTH balance AND stay fulfilled as we raise our children in a child-obsessed era.

Angie: How do you define balance?

Simpson: I consider a balanced state to be one in which a woman makes time for nurturing others, caring for herself, and fulfilling herself. I’ve found over time that for most women, fulfillment includes meaningful work (with the right balance at home) and this is my focus now- helping moms create service or people-oriented jobs with the balance they want at home. With this set-up, like I have, moms are finding they can run profitable, unique businesses and be the mom they want to be!

Angie: My favorite chapters are “Seek Your Soul’s Desire” and “Let Your Courage Emerge.” Tell us more about what those chapters mean to you.

Simpson: Our souls will speak to us and give us guidance IF we have enough quiet and peace in our lives. Create the quiet time first- every single day. Get out in nature. Meditate or do yoga. And then LISTEN for your heart’s desires, your soul’s language, and follow that guidance with your courage. For many moms, it means going back to work part-time in a meaningful career or scaling back to a more balanced career if you are working too much or not enjoying your job. Your soul will tell you- if you have enough quiet and introspection in your life. But then, you have to find your courage to make the changes.

Angie: In this economy, some stay-at-home moms are feeling the pinch and wondering if they should go back to work. And other moms tell me they are thinking about re-entering the work-force when their children get older. You believe it’s possible for moms to find paying work they love and still have quality time with their family. What do you say to the skeptics?

Simpson: I’d say to the skeptics- you just haven’t figured out the right job yet! I know the internet is still scary to a lot of moms (most of us missed the “understanding phase” of the internet boom) but it’s amazing how we can SIMPLY market businesses through the internet and work the hours we want to work. That’s why I am opening up programs to teach moms how to start and grow simple people-oriented or service-oriented businesses using simple internet marketing. These are the ingredients for having a profitable, balanced business that allows our unique, independent selves to emerge AND honors our desires to be present for our families.

Angie: Some women tell me they are so busy, they don’t even know where to start. I know I’ve felt that way at times. What’s the first piece of advice you would give to someone who’s feeling overwhelmed?

Simpson: Understand your time and energy is precious and LIMITED. You MUST be extremely careful with how you spend it because once the time is gone, it is gone! Only say yes to your top priorities (which must include self-care) and say no to everything else. It’s the only way to be balanced and happy.

You can learn more about Bria’s life and business coaching, peek inside her book and gain access to free tips by visiting her website.

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