I learned some hard lessons last week.
When I get really busy, stressed and rushed, I make really BIG mistakes. Like, do a complete system restore on my computer to fix a bug… a restore that returned my computer back to the factory settings. Which would have been fine IF I had properly backed-up my hard drive (which I didn’t.) And I’m keeping it real, I fell to my knees and cried when I realized the videos of baby Blake were gone.
Grief hurts like nothing else.
In the midst of my despair, a couple of friends would not let me accept that the videos were lost forever. I resisted their comments at first. I was like, “Stop. It. REALLY, they are.”
I think that’s when I was kidnapped by aliens, because Friday, I found myself at Best Buy, talking to a member of the Geek Sqaud. Before I knew it, I was scanning my debit card for $60 to have my computer shipped off to a team of experts who can apparently find data that mere mortals have “deleted.”
I do have faith in their abilities, although I’m going to remain cautiously optimistic. Perhaps they’ll find my videos behind some trap door in my hard drive. Perhaps it will cost eleventy million dollars to retrieve. Who knows? But at least I’m doing something.
When I lost the videos, I told myself my memories are constant. I remembered that I am gifted with the ability to write, and one day I’ll be able to share those stories with Blake. I told myself cherished moments are recorded each time I’m fully present, awake and engaged in my life. And I still believe that.
But I also believe if I feel strongly about something, I must take action. I believe in chasing pavements, even if it ultimately, it leads “no where.” I don’t need too many ”things” but if there is a chance some geek can recover my videos, well then, I have to try.
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angiemizzell 
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It is true that losing videos of your children are extremely upsetting. But just remember that you do still have baby Blake with you and many more opportunities to take more videos. I lost a son in 1999 two months before his third birthday to meningitis and I will never be able to take any more videos of him. So everyone please remember to take every opportunity NOW to capture the moments with your children and friends and family.
Sherri, words can’t express how sorry I am… the fact that you lost a child breaks my heart. Losing the videos actually made me very aware of how fleeting these moments are… and how precious they are. In a strange way, I am thankful it happened because it forced me to shift my focus from superficial things. Thank you for sharing your story.
I’m glad you are giving it a try. I chaperoned a field trip to the Pyramids with Jet’s 1st grade class. Jet has fallen in love with anything Egypt and I knew it was going to be one of those great days. The kind where as you are standing there in the moment..you tell yourself to lock it into long term memory. I did..but I wanted my camera to do it as well. My “backup” memory. When I got home I was previewing the photos because I wanted to delete the photos I didn’t want before putting them into my hard drive. Patience is a virtue..just not one that I currently have. So as I was deleting photos from my camera while I was on my computer, I thought I was so smart and efficient. I was neither because I deleted every picture in my camera. All 966 of them. Since we moved to Egypt, and had to pack our computer months in advance to ship, I had no where to download my pictures since February. So I kept them in my camera. Safe. Until Jet went to the pyramids and I thought I should just download them now..before something happens to them. That’s when my efficiency deleted my smartness. I deleted every single memory in the last nine months. Tallon’s first Lacrosse game, Jet’s graduation from Kindergarten, our tearful goodbyes to all our friends in the states. Every video, every picture, every Kodak moment.. Gone. I haven’t cried that hard since I found out my best friend kissed my crush at a party in 11th grade. Really Ang, I feel your pain. I have been there. I have been helping an Egyptian guy (21years old) start his own computer company here and learn english. I called him screaming into the phone, “I accidently erased all my pictures of Jet at the pyramids and it was his best day of his life….you have to help me.” And Karim heard in broken up english,”Jet’s in an accident..you have to help!” Needless to say, he was here in minutes…looked me straight in the eye and said, “why are you leading me to your office? Where is Jet?” I said, “still at school, Karim focus..I need you to retrieve my pictures of Jet.” We both laughed, he sat down at my computer and couldn’t help me at all. All memory was gone. He said, “I have to take this with me…I’ll get your pictures Kathy. ” An hour later he came over, put something into my computer and up popped all 996 pictures….even a few I erased a year ago. My moral of the story is Angie, don’t sweat this one. Karim told me there is no such thing as deleting anything forever. If the geek squad can’t bring back your memories…someone can. Yes, it’s nice to file your memories into long term..but it’s also nice to file them in a folder and hit enter.