Originally published on HybridMom.com
About a month before I gave birth to my second child, I took an online quiz. Which Superhero was I? I was dying to know. On Facebook, I had adopted a strict “no quiz” policy. But since I had found the Superhero quiz on a friend’s blog, the rule didn’t count.
I answered a series of questions and the results came back as I expected. I was, in fact, Wonder Woman. Clearly, I lacked Lynda Carter’s rock-hard body, tiara and teeny blue shorts covered in stars. But I remembered the summer of 1980, when I ran around barefoot sporting a pair of Wonder Woman Underoos. I took this as proof the test was highly credible.
Shortly after my son was born, my superpowers—fueled by adrenaline, 800 milligrams of ibuprofen and a daily dose of Starbucks—were intact. I felt ready to take on the challenge of mothering two children. I put on my cape, muscled through the sleep deprivation and attempted to resume life as normal. I reasoned that getting out of the house would be good for my three-year-old, and for me. So with my newborn in tow, we went to play dates, the museum, an indoor playground and the pool. We had lunch with friends and entertained visitors.
So maybe I overdid it, just a bit. Eventually, the Lasso of Truth reeled me in.
When my throat began to hurt, I ignored the symptoms. I kept going when I lost my voice. But when I started to look a little less like Wonder Woman and more like the corpse of Lynda Carter, a friend insisted on taking me to the doctor. The doctor concluded I had a viral infection and said I needed more rest. What? No caffeine patch? No miracle drug to instantly zap me back to health? I resisted the urge to laugh/cry in her face and agreed that she was probably right.
But how, I wondered, is it possible to give my children what they need? Will I ever learn how to love them and care for them and simultaneously take care of myself? When will I find time to work, date my husband, sleep and exercise? I had just gotten my groove back after having my first child. Was it possible to lose it that quickly?
I pondered these questions as I spent a quiet week at home with my kids. I traded my tiara for yoga pants and nursing tanks, and my three-year-old entertained himself with his cars and trains. I got better acquainted with the daily rhythms of my newborn. I even experienced a rare moment when the heavens opened up and both children napped at the same time.
So, while I may resemble Wonder Woman, I have resolved that my fantastic superpowers have limits. Maybe I’m doing my children more good by revealing my greatness, as well as my weakness, rather than perpetuating the fantasy that I can do it all. Because I can’t. At least not all at once.
And that is okay.
Kudos to just being in the moment. I’ve found that the best mother/daughter memories I have with my children are the ones when we are just hanging out together. Being together as we go about the easy business of daily living. That’s what it’s all about …
Love it! Congratulations.
Hey Angie,
I’m so happy for you. This is an amazing idea. Perfection makes for an unhappy family life. Just live I say! There is no perfect anyway. Like Joanne says, just enjoy your children and yourself for who you and they are in the moment.
This model of everyone being amazing 24/7 isn’t realistic. Flaws make us human.
I wish you the best with this wonderful endeavor. Make a great new coaching biz for you. Helping mothers de-supermom themselves – almost like deprogramming!
Giulietta the Muse
I had the Wonder Woman underoos, too!! I’m glad you came to your senses and stayed home in your yoga pants.
I’ve just had to accept since Baby #2 that I can only do so much. Of course, I’m no master of self-care. Just this week I’ve skipped more meals than I can count & forced myself to work & return calls instead of resting during naps. I guess I’m a work in progress…
love the new blog concept! It was great seeing you and the kids at the fun run! I’ll one up you and try to dig out my wonder woman hallowe’en costume pic.. complete with tiara and padded cups from when I was six or seven… I even had the cool boots!
Looking forward to reading more!
I think all moms are super mom… some are just better at keeping their secret identities on
I’m so happy for you! This blog is what so many of us normal Moms loved the post, however it does have me a bit anxious about the day that Miss Chelsea joins our family. I just thought life was tough with one, right? Glad to know I can come here and not feel so alone.
Congrats!
Congrats on the new blog! Look, Wonder Woman had her own flaws – number one being an invisible plane that didn’t make her invisible. Isn’t it more alarming to see a sitting woman floating through the sky than a plane? And can you imagine having to wear that skimpy outfit to work? Especially with a nursing bra on? Your kids don’t NEED playdates and museum trips. All they really need is you, yoga pants and all, a few toys and a little love sprinkled on top. Cheers to all the not-so-supermoms!
After my second child was born I lost my voice for a week. It was tough, especially since I am a list maker and constant doer. I had to learn to slow down, and enjoy my newborn and 2 year old…….I now take my cues from them….I have learned to spend hours playing cars with my son, or putting together puzzles on the living room floor. these moments are precious, and I am happy to report that my kids have taught me to slow down (which is not too easy in Los Angeles with mommy and me classes, playdates, exercise and kids….etc. etc.)……trying to keep up with the Jones is the “acceptable” norm and not necessarily good for our kids, or us for that matter, thank you angie for your honesty and insight.