I’m constantly on a quest for the proverbial state of balance. But these days, balance is getting a lot of hype. It’s become a buzz word, a marketing tool and another thing to accomplish on our never-ending to-do lists.
Pay the bills. Check. Take care of business. Check. Achieve balance. Check.
Feeling pressure to achieve balance is a bit counterproductive, don’t you think? When I begin to stress out because I don’t have balance in my life, I remember that true balance is a state of mind. It’s more about being, than about doing.
Recently, Dawn Maria, left a comment on my blog that stayed with me. She described how I feel most days:
When you say the word balance, I think the image that comes to mind is a scale with equal weight on both sides. But mothering and work (in my case a day job and writing) never look like that. The scale is always moving… Some days I feel like I’ve short-changed everyone, other days I feel like I did a little of everything.
I’ve learned to say “no” and I strive to take more things off my plate. And there’s real value in doing that. But Dawn reminded me there’s value in saying ”yes,” too. And that’s the reason she’s my Flawed and Fabulous Mom-of-the-Week. Click here to meet her.
Hi Angie,
Glad to read your post hot off the cyber presses! I agree. Life is inherently unbalanced and that’s o.k. Whose balance would we subscribe to anyway? Best to find a life that you love. Do more of what you love. Less of what you don’t love!
Thanks, Giulietta
Giulietta… it’s so simple… yet so easy to forget!
Ah, this comment is so very true.. There are days when I feel like I am so far from enough and then days where I feel like super girl. I look for the intricate balance on a daily basis.. I wake up and pray to be enough.
Best,
Hannah Katy
Perhaps being “far from enough” one day and supergirl the next is balance? Something interesting I’ve just considered!
I think the real trick of balance is awareness. If you can recognize when it’s in order or out of whack, that’s half the battle. Writing down a to-do list is still my best strategy because it gets things out of my head, which frees my mind to focus on the task at hand rather than everything all at once.
I agree with you about awareness… it’s not about keeping things perfect but understanding when the scales need to tip the other way. I’ve also learned to organize my to-do’s by categories… lumping like tasks together… and also rating their level of priority before tackling the task.
Balance isn’t always easy. But I think what matters too, or what helps, is to give ourselves fully to whatever we are immersed in at one moment, be it working, cooking, talking to a friend, writing. If our mind is on something else we’re not doing, then we’re not fully living in the moment, engaging, connecting. So I think that helps, giving fully to the moment, no matter which it is.
Joanne, I have noticed a lot of my stress comes from trying to be two places at once… one place physically, while thinking about something else. So true!
So very true, but this post brings to mind a fairly unrelated, but funny story. Since I’m currently on maternity leave and living a few more weeks as a SAHM rather than a working mom I’ve found myself trying my best to balance my time between both kids, rather than work and kids. I think I literally achieved the perfect balance this morning when my 2 year old decided it was time to poop in the potty while I was nursing his sister. I had to clean him up, but didn’t want to interupt the baby’s feeding. So what did I do? I wiped the toddler’s rear end and breastfed the baby at the same time! I think I’ve taken SuperMom to a whole new level!
I don’t know about balance between different areas of my life. That’s always out of balance I think. But I agree that balance is more a state of mind, and feeling mentally balanced in the midst of life’s (constant) imbalances, is another thing, and something I’m working on. Or not working on – because I agree it’s one of those paradoxes; yes, trying to acheive it is definitely counterproductive…. It can’t be “acheived” I think, it can only be found. It’s already there, wherever you are, just needs to be recognized and allowed. At least I’m sure I read that somewhere!
You’re right about that, Rose! It’s right there. Most of what we’re seeking is right in front of us, I think.