Once upon a time, I wanted to be an entertainment news reporter. I had this vision of living and working in Los Angeles, interviewing celebrities on the red carpet and getting my friends VIP tickets to the Oscars. And in this scenario, I owned a red convertible BMW. I imagined myself driving through Beverly Hills with the top down, loving my life.
Depending on where you stand, this old dream of mine may sound really fantastic or really shallow. Regardless, it was my dream. And a dream is a dream. And to me–at least for a time–it meant something to me. But I stopped pursuing that path. I let it go. Because eventually, I realized it wasn’t what I really wanted.
How did I know?
I stopped enjoying the journey. After years of climbing the ladder–navigating raises and promotions as a television journalist–I was no longer willing to make career choices that were simply “a means to an end.”
I didn’t love my career, as much as I loved the idea of it. It took a long time to realize why I kept seeing myself driving with the top down through sunny California. That image represented how I wanted to feel. I wanted to feel happy. I wanted to feel free. I wanted to have a career that made me feel alive, not like I had a two ton brick on my chest.
So today, whenever I find myself trying to create a very specific scenario, thinking it holds a key to my happiness– I challenge myself to examine what I really want. We’ve all quoted The Rolling Stones…. we know we can’t always get what we want. Sometimes we get what we need, instead.
But here’s another way to look at it. Sometimes our heart’s desire is delivered to our doorstep– the real thing. Not some dollar store imitation. But we may not recognize it at first. But there it is, right in front of us. In a package we didn’t expect.
Have you ever experienced a time when things didn’t go as planned, but you got exactly what your heart was longing for?
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Careers are funny things, you make a plan and then life gets in the way. My plan was to be a teacher and coach and I did that for four years. Then a summer job turned out to be a career in international logistics, never planned for and never all that excited about, it just sorta happened.
Many years later, because I was in that career, I met the lovely Miss TK and here we are nearly 24 years of marriage later and having as much fun today as when we first met.
Nearly 12 years ago, an opportunity to move to Charleston was available through my career and, although she didn’t want to at first, the lovely Miss TK has found a place she loves and we will never leave.
Now, because we moved to Charleston, I became involved in Rotary and service and have met so many wonderful friends through Rotary, including the Queen of the Andra-Dites. Through the Queen, other friendships have developed that I value.
The trick to meeting life’s opportunities and challenges is to always think of them as a new adventure, you don’t lose old friends, you just make new ones and they are all valued.
I told Andra the same thing… but I thought of you, too, when I wrote this post. Such a great story.
Your comment about loving the idea of something more than the actual thing really struck me. Too often, I have settled for less because I was in love with an idea, but it wasn’t the reality I was facing, and I had to make some hard choices.
Other times, the best choice was always there, it just takes me some time to see it sometimes.
Letting go is not giving up… a lesson I’ve learned along the way.
The Journey! Imagine that! Enjoy your Journey My Friend!
We should start a band called Journey. Oh wait, someone already did that.
I always imagined what the love of my life would look like, who he would be. Thankfully, somebody knew that my vision was crap. I went against type and dated MTM, who really is the love oft life.
I actually thought of you and MTM when I wrote this post.
I also gave up my career in television news to pursue another path when my son came along. People always ask if I miss it and I have a hard time expressing how I feel about that.
“I didn’t love my career, as much as I loved the idea of it.”
That is exactly how I felt about it too. I just couldn’t put it into words.
Angie, I feel like my life path is very similar to yours, and reading your posts helps me verbalize and understand my feelings, as well as find my focus. Thank you for uplifting and inspiring me on a daily basis!
Thank you, too. Comments like these are so encouraging… it inspires me to stay the course.
The heart doesn’t really steer us wrong, does it. Sometimes it’s just a matter of really tuning in to what it’s saying.
So true– but my frequency is off sometimes. Gotta learn to keep turning the dial.
That’s a really important distinction to make between what you want and how you think it will make you feel. So many people say “I want a million dollars” when in reality they want the freedom that money would allow them. And for most of us, that takes a lot less than a million bucks, thank goodness!
Side note: I once read an autobiography of a tabloid news reporter in LA – she was meeting celebrities, going to parties, wearing fancy clothes, etc. By the end of the book, it sounded to me like the most horrible career in the world. I guess it did to the author, too, since she quit!
Who wrote the book?
That is so true! I wrote a blog post in 2009 on my vision board revelations where I had a similar revelation. I realized that all of the things that I thought I wanted, I really didn’t. There was always a second thought behind the first if I listened closely. It was a much quieter voice than the first. lol
As much as I will miss my VIP tickets and Carolina Herrera gown, I have to say that I am so very proud of you and what you have given up to find your passion. You are an inspiration to me always.