Let me count the ways

dear dillon


When author Erin MacPherson suggested her blog readers write a love note to their child and stick it in his or her lunchbox, I thought it would be the perfect thing to do for Dillon. He was about to become the big brother of not one, but two, siblings and I wanted him to know how special he is to me. "Hey, Dillon. Did you get your note?" I asked after school, about a week before Cate was born.  "Yes," he said. "And I think you should write me a note every day."

Every day? Every single day? Yes, he said. Every single day.

On day two, Dillon told me the note was too short. Apparently, he has a two sentence minimum. And each day, as I pen a new note (sometimes I add a splash of crayon) I wonder: How many different ways can I tell this child how much I love him? Will I run out of things to say? There are no limits to my love; but I feel limited in my ability to express it. When your heart overflows, are words ever sufficient?

Since Cate arrived, I've been overwhelmed by love. From the friends who have visited, brought flowers, gifts and meals. From those who have commented on my blog or left notes on Facebook. I can say thank you over and over again, but the words never seem to match the depth of my gratitude.

Sometimes, a simple thank you doesn't feel like enough. Sometimes, saying "I love you" doesn't either. Even though it probably is.

Have you ever felt love that was bigger than words?