This weekend holds special significance for me; I can't help but reflect on how unique this time in my life is... the mother of a three year old, a second child on the way. It's humbling to accept how many times I have fallen short. Before my first son was born, I had all these big ideas and plans about how I was going to be the most super fantastic mom ever. I would shower my little one with love and affection and never do anything to scar his sweet little spirit.
And then... he was born. The crying and the sleep deprivation. The work-life balance. The sleep deprivation. The confusion. The frustration. The sleep deprivation.
And also... the smiles. The hugs. The kisses. And the angel voice that gets me every time, "Mommy? I love you."
Some nights I put my head on the pillow and tell myself, "I got it right today." But there are other nights I pray for a chance to love my son a little better tomorrow.
This realization makes me think of my own mother, and her mother, and all the mothers who came before them. And suddenly, I'm filled with forgiveness. I'm overwhelmed with understanding. And love.
Maya Angelou has said, "You did what you knew how to do, and when you knew better, you did better."
And those words remind to forgive myself.
Happy Mother's Day, Mom.