Chasing pavements

It's been three months since the birth of baby Blake, and I'm getting more consistent with my workouts. Some days I pretend I'm Fergalicious-- you know, up in the gym just working on my fitness. But the other day, my iPod shuffled to Adele's Chasing Pavements. The gym wasn't busy, and I sat on the leg press machine for several minutes with all my fluctuating hormones and emotions focused on these words: Should I give up, or should I just keep chasing pavements, even if it leads nowhere?

The song really resonates with me. I can recall heartbreaking pathetic visions of 20-year-old me, following around my then-boyfriend/now-husband, wondering if he would ever love me back. (Silly, silly boy. We all know he finally came to his senses.)

But on a much deeper level... a LIFE level... a spiritual level... the words hit my core. So many of us are chasing something. Love. A cure. A passion. A purpose.

Sometimes I feel like I'm spinning my wheels. Chasing pavements. And I wonder, should I press on, or should I let go? Then I remember letting go is not giving up. Letting go, to me, means letting go of the struggle. Releasing the pain, and the outcome, to a higher power.

And my answer for Adele, with her beautiful voice and lyrics that make me catch my breath: if it's worth having, it's worth chasing. It doesn't matter if you catch it, it just matters that you cared enough to try.