Even though many of my posts are about my life with kids, I don't necessarily consider myself a mommy blogger. Yes, I'm a mom. And yes, I blog. So what's the difference? I think the big difference is the readers. The comments on Wednesday's post show how we're all in different stages of life. We come to this corner of the internet from different backgrounds and viewpoints.
I try to find the universal thread in my stories. I ask myself, What makes this adventure in the life of Angie more about the human experience and not solely the "mom in the trenches" experience? Some days I don't mention my kids or my role as mom at all. During those times, I have the little people tied to the coffee table.
But let's face it. I'm about to have a third child. Not, like, tomorrow. But soon. I was thinking about it, and there's no way I can pretend that's not happening here on the blog. Much of my focus is shifting towards prepping for the new little person who's moving in. To my house. Not for an extended visit. To stay. So perhaps that does make me a mommy blogger. It's just a label. It doesn't matter.
All of this to say I hope you'll embrace this part of the journey with me. It will be interesting to see how it goes. The newborn days with Dillon were particularly difficult for me. I had no idea how my overwhelming love for this angel of a baby would be eclipsed by raging hormones, sleep deprivation and the unsettling realization that so many things are out of my control. With Blake, I had a (somewhat) easier time, and I'm sure some of it had to do with perspective. I did some things differently. But sometimes it was deja vu, and I had to remind myself: I may be tired and depleted today, but I won't be tired and depleted and unshowered for the rest of my life.
Before I got pregnant with our baby girl on the way, I told my husband, "I'm not under any false impressions that having another is going to be easy. I can't promise I won't have less-than-shining moments. I still have no idea how to balance raising children with my personal and professional aspirations. But I don't care. I know what I'm getting into."
Wednesday, Bella wrote about her experience as a grandparent:
We have more patience than when we were younger, and we have less stress and deadlines and other priorities. Our grandchildren are the only thing in the universe when we’re with them. It’s different than being a parent with all the responsibilities.
She's right. It is different. We don't get do-overs in life. Instead, we get seasons. With each season comes an opportunity to learn and grow and live life more fully than we did the day before. In 2009, before Blake was born, I wrote,
Some nights I put my head on the pillow and tell myself, “I got it right today.” But there are other nights I pray for a chance to love my son a little better tomorrow. This realization makes me think of my own mother, and her mother, and all the mothers who came before them. And suddenly, I’m filled with forgiveness. I’m overwhelmed with understanding. And love.
Maya Angelou has said, “You did what you knew how to do, and when you knew better, you did better.” And those words remind to forgive myself.
So perhaps I can tie these thoughts into a pretty little bow by saying this: This is what I love about my blog and the readers who help make it what it is. Together, we shine new perspectives on the business of living life. And if you want to come visit, babysit, clean my bathrooms, take the the overnight shift... sign up in the comments section below. (Kidding).