just chill

If you’re like me, you’re having a small panic attack that the end of the year is pretty much here. Rather than doing the healthy thing– put all my big ideas and projects on hold until January 1– I think I can cram a bunch of stuff in at the last minute. Drama! And there’s no need, really.

Which leads me to a perfect segway for my essay roundup… I’m sneaky like that:

I almost named this essay at Hybrid Mom Crazy? or Patient? Instead, I went with Breathe. Be Happy. Click here to read about a game I play that keeps me in touch with my inner “Ommmmmm”

It was bound to happen eventually… Baby Blake has kicked his momma out of her office. Find out how I’m faring at the kitchen table in WAHM Gets Demoted. (That’s work-at-home-mom for those not versed in mommy jargon)

In Stay? Go? How Do You Know? I explore the inevitable changes we face in life, and how we must reconcile who we were then, who we are now, and who we are becoming.

And finally, over at the Little Black Book, I offer some tips to Reclaim Your Holiday Spirit. Let me know if they work!

friday's big stories

News just in… the videos of baby Blake have been recovered. Like bits and pieces of shredded paper, my friend George (not the geek squad) pieced together memories that had been scattered and swept into the depths of my hard drive. Thanks to George, I was able to witness something I never got to see… Dillon meeting his baby brother for the first time. To say I’m ecstatic is an understatement. The life lessons from this experience have not been lost on me (be present, count my blessings, back up my hard drive) but since we’re leading up to Thanksgiving and my focus has been on gratitude, I’m just going to say another big fat THANK YOU and be happy.

In other news, my girl Oprah says she’s calling it quits in 2011. My first reaction was “Nooooooo…..! Not before I finish my book, you invite me on your show and I become an overnight bestseller!” Guess I’ll have to work faster on this book or start my own talk show. I kid, I kid. (Okay, not really)

Finally, my latest essay in Hybrid Mom explores the tough choices we make as moms. The support I’ve received from readers so far has been overwhelming. Women (not just moms) are inundated with choices and it can be difficult to strike a balance. As we dance between taking care of ourselves and taking care of others… the more encouragement and support we can give one another the better. Click here to read “My Preschool Dropout.”

Have a great weekend everyone. I’m counting the days ’til I sink my teeth in my mom’s 21 lb turkey. I can already smell the mac ‘n cheese! Okay, starving now.

perspective

This week I was taught, once again, the value of perspective. When I find myself really stressed out and totally confused, it usually means I have lost sight of the bigger picture. I get so bogged down in the tiny details of my circumstances I can’t see my way out.

About a year ago, I wrote about how my son got glasses, and it changed the way he saw the world. Before his new specs, he didn’t realize what he was missing. After a couple of days, I no longer had to chase him around the house or bribe him with candy to get him to wear them. Today, he puts them on without a fight. He has a new perspective, and he likes it.

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I emailed a friend last night– and admitted that navigating life transitions with ease is not my specialty. I am in love with my children, but I’ve been conflicted about my desire to stay home with them AND my desire to pursue my writing career. I’ve met lots of moms who have shown me it’s possible to do both. It can get really messy. But if it’s worth having, it’s worth chasing.

I was torn, because it seemed I had competing values. As I write this sentence, my three year old keeps kissing me on the lips. Sometimes I wonder if there’s room in my heart to handle all the love. Am I equipped to receive the abundance? It’s mine to have, as soon as I change my perspective.

Lately, I’ve been surrounded by a lot of noise– joyful noise– but noise nonetheless. This week my husband took a day off work (LOVE HIM) to spend time with the kids while I got out. For a few hours, I was able to escape the external noise and the unproductive chatter in my head. In a moment of quiet, I was able to step outside my circumstances and see the bigger picture. And by the end of the day, I discovered that most of my prayers had already been answered. Even though I had felt like I had lost my connection, I realized I was never alone.

Can I getta Amen?

What are your superpowers?

We all have superpowers. For example, I have a crazy memory. I can remember being two years old. People don’t believe me, but it’s true. Recently, I took a quiz posted on Denise Turner’s blog, which concluded that I am Wonder Woman. Click here to read Denise’s hilarious post (she’s Green Lantern) and find out which superhero YOU are.

All of this superhero business inspired my latest essay over at Hybrid Mom. Find out what happened to Wonder Woman when she pushed things a little too far.

Hybrid Mom

I’m so happy to be back. I’ve missed blogging on a regular basis and receiving your comments. My writing voice (and all my other ones for that matter) are still infused with fluctuating hormones and sleep deprivation, but maybe that will make things more interesting!

For those just tuning in, I delivered my second son six weeks ago. Everyone is doing well.

cover-summer-2009-largeI wanted to start with a quick note that I am now a contributor to Hybrid Mom. My articles will appear on the magazine’s website a couple of times a month. I’m thrilled to have this opportunity. My first essay, Age is Relative, Life is Right Now, is already up if you want to check it out. If you do, please post comments on the Hybrid Mom site. (Even if you read the story when it appeared in the Post and Courier back in May.)  

Hybrid Mom’s tag line is “Mother Your Ambitions.” I love that message. Because what do mothers do? They nurture. I think it’s so important to hold on to the things that inspire us, recognize our unique gifts and talents, and actively seek our purpose and place in this world. In other words, nurture your ambitions!

I’m thrilled I’m at a place in my life where my personal and professional aspirations are getting their groove on and dancing in sync. It’s been quite a journey. So now, I’m expressing my gratitude and seizing the moment.

I’m so glad you’re here! I hate to dance alone. Although I’ve been known to do it.

See ya back here soon. And if you’re on your way to Starbucks, grab me a latte ,will ya? Or order an extra shot of espresso in honor of me!

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Wanted: moms seeking balance

balancedmomcover1We’re good at juggling, multi-tasking and wearing PB&J and spit-up like a badge of honor. We love our kids. And we are so blessed. But have you ever felt overwhelmed, unattractive, uncool and exhausted? Have you ever slumped down on the couch and cried, “But what about me???”

And then two seconds later felt guilty for feeling that way?

I know I have. Over the past three years I have embraced my role as mommy, while at the same time, I have struggled to find my own place in the world. Not everyone can relate. But I do know I’m not alone. Whether you work outside the home, do the part-time thing, or stay at home full-time with your children, chances are you have felt out-of-balance. Along the way, I’ve found comfort and support from women who have walked in my shoes.

briapic1Today, I’m happy to have the privilege of sharing my conversation with Bria Simpson, life and business coach for moms and the author of one of my favorite books, “The Balanced Mom, Raising Your Kids Without Losing Your Self.”

Angie: Bria, first of all, thank you! I am a fan of your work and am honored you’ve taken the time to share your insights with my blog readers. I discovered your book several years ago as I was wandering through Barnes & Noble, no doubt searching for a book on how to teach my son to sleep. I was struggling with how to balance work and the responsibilities of motherhood, along with my need to exercise and do the little things, like take a daily shower. “The Balanced Mom” was easy to read and exactly what I needed. What inspired the book?

Bria Simpson: There was nothing out there like it! I was coaching moms on how to balance their lives and hold onto their selves throughout motherhood and they would ask me “Is there a book to help keep me going?” I looked and couldn’t find one- so I decided to write a simple book with quick tips on how to BOTH balance AND stay fulfilled as we raise our children in a child-obsessed era.

Angie: How do you define balance?

Simpson: I consider a balanced state to be one in which a woman makes time for nurturing others, caring for herself, and fulfilling herself. I’ve found over time that for most women, fulfillment includes meaningful work (with the right balance at home) and this is my focus now- helping moms create service or people-oriented jobs with the balance they want at home. With this set-up, like I have, moms are finding they can run profitable, unique businesses and be the mom they want to be!

Angie: My favorite chapters are “Seek Your Soul’s Desire” and “Let Your Courage Emerge.” Tell us more about what those chapters mean to you.

Simpson: Our souls will speak to us and give us guidance IF we have enough quiet and peace in our lives. Create the quiet time first- every single day. Get out in nature. Meditate or do yoga. And then LISTEN for your heart’s desires, your soul’s language, and follow that guidance with your courage. For many moms, it means going back to work part-time in a meaningful career or scaling back to a more balanced career if you are working too much or not enjoying your job. Your soul will tell you- if you have enough quiet and introspection in your life. But then, you have to find your courage to make the changes.

Angie: In this economy, some stay-at-home moms are feeling the pinch and wondering if they should go back to work. And other moms tell me they are thinking about re-entering the work-force when their children get older. You believe it’s possible for moms to find paying work they love and still have quality time with their family. What do you say to the skeptics?

Simpson: I’d say to the skeptics- you just haven’t figured out the right job yet! I know the internet is still scary to a lot of moms (most of us missed the “understanding phase” of the internet boom) but it’s amazing how we can SIMPLY market businesses through the internet and work the hours we want to work. That’s why I am opening up programs to teach moms how to start and grow simple people-oriented or service-oriented businesses using simple internet marketing. These are the ingredients for having a profitable, balanced business that allows our unique, independent selves to emerge AND honors our desires to be present for our families.

Angie: Some women tell me they are so busy, they don’t even know where to start. I know I’ve felt that way at times. What’s the first piece of advice you would give to someone who’s feeling overwhelmed?

Simpson: Understand your time and energy is precious and LIMITED. You MUST be extremely careful with how you spend it because once the time is gone, it is gone! Only say yes to your top priorities (which must include self-care) and say no to everything else. It’s the only way to be balanced and happy.

You can learn more about Bria’s life and business coaching, peek inside her book and gain access to free tips by visiting her website.

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To our mothers

This weekend holds special significance for me; I can’t help but reflect on how unique this time in my life is… the mother of a three year old, a second child on the way.

It’s humbling to accept how many times I have fallen short. Before my first son was born, I had all these big ideas and plans about how I was going to be the most super fantastic mom ever. I would shower my little one with love and affection and never do anything to scar his sweet little spirit.

And then… he was born. The crying and the sleep deprivation. The work-life balance. The sleep deprivation. The confusion. The frustration. The sleep deprivation.

And also… the smiles. The hugs. The kisses. And the angel voice that gets me every time, “Mommy? I love you.”

Some nights I put my head on the pillow and tell myself, “I got it right today.” But there are other nights I pray for a chance to love my son a little better tomorrow.

This realization makes me think of my own mother, and her mother, and all the mothers who came before them. And suddenly, I’m filled with forgiveness. I’m overwhelmed with understanding. And love.

Maya Angelou has said, “You did what you knew how to do, and when you knew better, you did better.”

And those words remind to forgive myself.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.

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Refreshing Your Professional Image

The Women in Business Conference was a great success! Many thanks to those who attended my breakout session, Refreshing Your Professional Image.

I believe our “image” is most powerful when it radiates from the inside- out. It starts by asking ourselves: what does success look like to me? Some other tips to remember:

~Image begins with how you see yourself. To paraphrase a quote by Henry Ford: “Whether you think you can or you can’t, either way, you’re right.”

~Embrace your gifts, talents and passions. What you love to do and what comes naturally to you are clues that guide you on the path to your purpose.

~Create your vision. Dare to boldly see and profess your true heart’s desires.

~Ditch the fear. What do you risk if you play it safe?

~Let your experience, wisdom and intuition serve as your guide. Women, especially, are blessed with the gift of intuition.

~Sell yourself! Think about all you’ve accomplished and experienced so far in your life. Believe it, use it, own it. Work it, girl! Turn to the left… now turn to the right. I digress.

Seek balance. Strive to be authentic.

Click here to watch a six-minute video clip, highlighting some key points in my talk. My hubby and his partner, Patrick, will think the video quality is not the best, but in a YouTube world, we can now get away with it! Maybe I should have used Go To Team?

Clearing My Space

This is a good day. I’m zipping through Facebook faster than a speeding bullet. I’m checking email with more power than a locomotive. Okay, I’m exaggerating. But only a little.

I just added more memory to my 5-year-old computer, and I can almost hear it thanking me for giving it extra space. For months we had been dragging along, reminiscent of those dreadful dial-up days. I came close to tossing my laptop out the front door each time I watched minutes (which felt like hours) of my life pass by.

Now that my computer is operating at a more zippy pace, I am amazed at the physical sense of relief I feel. Like when my car is not accelerating properly, and I realize I need to release the emergency brake.

Have you ever noticed the sense of freedom and spaciousness you feel when you clean out your closet, clear off your desk, or when someone cancels an appointment, freeing up an extra hour in your over-scheduled day?

I have spent the past couple of weeks clearing space in all areas of my life. Restructuring my weekly calendar so it allows time for work and time for R&R. Sending a pile of clothes to Goodwill so I can find the pants I actually want to wear. Tossing out eyeshadow circa 2005, and rediscovering what the top of my desk looks like. (It’s a nice smoky glass… I was pleasantly surprised.)

I felt instantly lighter, more energetic and relaxed, more efficient and productive. Like my aging laptop, my internal hard drive can get clogged. Cram more files into a computer that’s already overflowing with data, and I’m just asking for a crash. Our lives are no different. We need room to breathe. Room to think. Room to process and decompress.

When you clear out the gunk and the junk, you make room for more of the good stuff to come in. If you think you’re too busy, too stretched, too committed to your responsibilities… ask yourself what it’s truly costing you to navigate through jammed up, overcrowded days. Imagine how it would feel to release the emergency brake and zip down the open road. Or take a nap. Or exercise. Or allow that great idea to take shape. Or do the thing you really want to do but say you never have time for. The possibilities are endless.

What’s the one thing you can do TODAY to begin creating more space in your life?

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