What are your gifts?

Recently, I read a post on Becca’s blog that got me thinking about something I wrote two years ago, about our natural born gifts and how we use them in our daily lives. In continuing celebration of my blogiversary I decide to post it again.

From April 14, 2008:

I spent the weekend doing taxes, and I have decided that doing taxes sucks the creativity right out of me. (On the other hand, I was quite creative when figuring out how to maximize my deductions). There are things that come naturally to me, and things that don’t. Taxes are in the category of “things that don’t.”

Here on the page, though, I feel right a home. This is not a new revelation to me. As early as elementary school I gravitated towards English class and ran away from Math. So that brings me to YOU. [Read more...]

What are your superpowers?

We all have superpowers. For example, I have a crazy memory. I can remember being two years old. People don’t believe me, but it’s true. Recently, I took a quiz posted on Denise Turner’s blog, which concluded that I am Wonder Woman. Click here to read Denise’s hilarious post (she’s Green Lantern) and find out which superhero YOU are.

All of this superhero business inspired my latest essay over at Hybrid Mom. Find out what happened to Wonder Woman when she pushed things a little too far.

Hybrid Mom

I’m so happy to be back. I’ve missed blogging on a regular basis and receiving your comments. My writing voice (and all my other ones for that matter) are still infused with fluctuating hormones and sleep deprivation, but maybe that will make things more interesting!

For those just tuning in, I delivered my second son six weeks ago. Everyone is doing well.

cover-summer-2009-largeI wanted to start with a quick note that I am now a contributor to Hybrid Mom. My articles will appear on the magazine’s website a couple of times a month. I’m thrilled to have this opportunity. My first essay, Age is Relative, Life is Right Now, is already up if you want to check it out. If you do, please post comments on the Hybrid Mom site. (Even if you read the story when it appeared in the Post and Courier back in May.)  

Hybrid Mom’s tag line is “Mother Your Ambitions.” I love that message. Because what do mothers do? They nurture. I think it’s so important to hold on to the things that inspire us, recognize our unique gifts and talents, and actively seek our purpose and place in this world. In other words, nurture your ambitions!

I’m thrilled I’m at a place in my life where my personal and professional aspirations are getting their groove on and dancing in sync. It’s been quite a journey. So now, I’m expressing my gratitude and seizing the moment.

I’m so glad you’re here! I hate to dance alone. Although I’ve been known to do it.

See ya back here soon. And if you’re on your way to Starbucks, grab me a latte ,will ya? Or order an extra shot of espresso in honor of me!

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Wanted: moms seeking balance

balancedmomcover1We’re good at juggling, multi-tasking and wearing PB&J and spit-up like a badge of honor. We love our kids. And we are so blessed. But have you ever felt overwhelmed, unattractive, uncool and exhausted? Have you ever slumped down on the couch and cried, “But what about me???”

And then two seconds later felt guilty for feeling that way?

I know I have. Over the past three years I have embraced my role as mommy, while at the same time, I have struggled to find my own place in the world. Not everyone can relate. But I do know I’m not alone. Whether you work outside the home, do the part-time thing, or stay at home full-time with your children, chances are you have felt out-of-balance. Along the way, I’ve found comfort and support from women who have walked in my shoes.

briapic1Today, I’m happy to have the privilege of sharing my conversation with Bria Simpson, life and business coach for moms and the author of one of my favorite books, “The Balanced Mom, Raising Your Kids Without Losing Your Self.”

Angie: Bria, first of all, thank you! I am a fan of your work and am honored you’ve taken the time to share your insights with my blog readers. I discovered your book several years ago as I was wandering through Barnes & Noble, no doubt searching for a book on how to teach my son to sleep. I was struggling with how to balance work and the responsibilities of motherhood, along with my need to exercise and do the little things, like take a daily shower. “The Balanced Mom” was easy to read and exactly what I needed. What inspired the book?

Bria Simpson: There was nothing out there like it! I was coaching moms on how to balance their lives and hold onto their selves throughout motherhood and they would ask me “Is there a book to help keep me going?” I looked and couldn’t find one- so I decided to write a simple book with quick tips on how to BOTH balance AND stay fulfilled as we raise our children in a child-obsessed era.

Angie: How do you define balance?

Simpson: I consider a balanced state to be one in which a woman makes time for nurturing others, caring for herself, and fulfilling herself. I’ve found over time that for most women, fulfillment includes meaningful work (with the right balance at home) and this is my focus now- helping moms create service or people-oriented jobs with the balance they want at home. With this set-up, like I have, moms are finding they can run profitable, unique businesses and be the mom they want to be!

Angie: My favorite chapters are “Seek Your Soul’s Desire” and “Let Your Courage Emerge.” Tell us more about what those chapters mean to you.

Simpson: Our souls will speak to us and give us guidance IF we have enough quiet and peace in our lives. Create the quiet time first- every single day. Get out in nature. Meditate or do yoga. And then LISTEN for your heart’s desires, your soul’s language, and follow that guidance with your courage. For many moms, it means going back to work part-time in a meaningful career or scaling back to a more balanced career if you are working too much or not enjoying your job. Your soul will tell you- if you have enough quiet and introspection in your life. But then, you have to find your courage to make the changes.

Angie: In this economy, some stay-at-home moms are feeling the pinch and wondering if they should go back to work. And other moms tell me they are thinking about re-entering the work-force when their children get older. You believe it’s possible for moms to find paying work they love and still have quality time with their family. What do you say to the skeptics?

Simpson: I’d say to the skeptics- you just haven’t figured out the right job yet! I know the internet is still scary to a lot of moms (most of us missed the “understanding phase” of the internet boom) but it’s amazing how we can SIMPLY market businesses through the internet and work the hours we want to work. That’s why I am opening up programs to teach moms how to start and grow simple people-oriented or service-oriented businesses using simple internet marketing. These are the ingredients for having a profitable, balanced business that allows our unique, independent selves to emerge AND honors our desires to be present for our families.

Angie: Some women tell me they are so busy, they don’t even know where to start. I know I’ve felt that way at times. What’s the first piece of advice you would give to someone who’s feeling overwhelmed?

Simpson: Understand your time and energy is precious and LIMITED. You MUST be extremely careful with how you spend it because once the time is gone, it is gone! Only say yes to your top priorities (which must include self-care) and say no to everything else. It’s the only way to be balanced and happy.

You can learn more about Bria’s life and business coaching, peek inside her book and gain access to free tips by visiting her website.

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“everyone is beautiful”

I just finished reading a book I highly recommend to any woman who has ever felt she has lost herself in the crazy, messy maze of life. “Everyone is Beautiful” by Katherine Center tells the story of Lanie, a stay-at-home mom raising 3 boys. Lanie’s a devoted mother and wife, but when her family moves to another city, she begins to discover a side of herself she had forgotten was even missing.

Whether you’re a mother, or not, Lanie represents so many of us. She inspires us to embrace our quirky imperfections that are perfectly intertwined with our divine gifts, talents and passions.

As I finished reading Center’s novel, the Susan Boyle phenomenon took YouTube by storm. By now you have seen and heard her story. If not, you must stop what you’re doing and watch this now. What I think is amazing about Susan’s story is not that she’s insanely talented; it’s that everyone doubted her. We live in a superficial world, and despite our best intentions, we expect perfection (unattainable) and we make snap judgments when it’s not delivered. What’s more tragic is how severely we judge ourselves. And how we hold ourselves back.

But we don’t have to live that way. Boyle and Center are gifts to us; they remind us that we are beautiful and it’s our job to share our beauty with the world, regardless of the risk. No matter how bumpy the terrain.

I’d like to leave with this short video trailer from “Everyone is Beautiful.” It’s another one worth watching. And remember, “everyone” means you, too.

Refreshing Your Professional Image

The Women in Business Conference was a great success! Many thanks to those who attended my breakout session, Refreshing Your Professional Image.

I believe our “image” is most powerful when it radiates from the inside- out. It starts by asking ourselves: what does success look like to me? Some other tips to remember:

~Image begins with how you see yourself. To paraphrase a quote by Henry Ford: “Whether you think you can or you can’t, either way, you’re right.”

~Embrace your gifts, talents and passions. What you love to do and what comes naturally to you are clues that guide you on the path to your purpose.

~Create your vision. Dare to boldly see and profess your true heart’s desires.

~Ditch the fear. What do you risk if you play it safe?

~Let your experience, wisdom and intuition serve as your guide. Women, especially, are blessed with the gift of intuition.

~Sell yourself! Think about all you’ve accomplished and experienced so far in your life. Believe it, use it, own it. Work it, girl! Turn to the left… now turn to the right. I digress.

Seek balance. Strive to be authentic.

Click here to watch a six-minute video clip, highlighting some key points in my talk. My hubby and his partner, Patrick, will think the video quality is not the best, but in a YouTube world, we can now get away with it! Maybe I should have used Go To Team?

Moving Forward: Feeling the Fear and Doing It Anyway.

I consider it a real gift when I have the opportunity to make meaningful connections with other women. I draw wisdom and inspiration from their journeys, and I often find a piece of myself in their personal stories. Recently, I had the opportunity to emcee the 14th Annual Administrative Professionals Day Conference, hosted by Trident Technical College. The event’s theme: Moving Forward. To me, moving forward means that we choose not to be victims of our circumstances; instead we use them as opportunities to learn and grow. We understand what we can control (ourselves) and the things we can’t (everything else). We rise above our negativity, fear, and pain to discover the lives we were created to live.

Here I am pictured on the right, along with Yvonne Noisette, Program Leader for Trident Tech’s Continuing Education Division, and Nikki Hardin, Founder and Publisher of skirt! magazine. Nikki is a true example of a woman who had a dream, felt the fear, and pursued it anyway. She was 29 years old and a single mom of three when she started college for the first time. She earned a BA in literature, attended graduate school, and got “her first real, full-time job.” In 1985, she packed up and moved to Charleston, which she had never seen and barely heard of. A decade later, Nikki was “nursing a mid-life crisis” when a friend asked her, “What do you want to do?” She told him that she wanted to start a magazine for women that was interesting to read. And he asked, “So why don’t you do that?” So she did. In 1994, with only $400 to her name, skirt! was born. The magazine grew and in 2003, she sold the skirt! to Morris Communications, maintained her leadership role, and secured her retirement. Today, skirt! is in 20 cities. Bravo!

I also had the opportunity to meet Marshawn Evans, an attorney, business owner, and former contestant on The Apprentice. Marshawn is making her mark on the world, and she hasn’t even reached the age of 30. Marshawn was a young girl when she saw the vision of the successful woman she wanted be, watching the character, Claire Huxtable, on The Cosby Show. Marshawn and Nikki are excellent examples of women who had a vision, and despite challenges and setbacks, made a decision to move forward.

In my coaching practice, I often ask my clients to describe their vision for their lives. Many times, we are afraid to let ourselves “go there” because we see all the obstacles standing in our way. But if we take a moment to recognize our gifts and talents and understand that we were created to use them, it is easier to shift our thinking from the obstacles, to the possibilities. We don’t have to figure it all out today. All we have to do is move forward.
Until next time… Angie

 

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