you have to believe to receive

Here’s a little story I shared over at Robin’s and Jodi’s blog this week, as part of our “holiday memories blog tour.” As I recalled a special time in my childhood, I couldn’t help but think about Charlie Brown’s angst that Christmastime was too commercial. On this Black Friday, as the official shopping season begins, I’ll embrace the hustle and bustle AND what this time of year truly means to me. Thanksgiving may be over, but I continue to count my blessings.

For as long as I can remember, I have understood and celebrated the true meaning of Christmas. But even as a little girl, I noticed how Santa seemed to upstage the baby Jesus. The Son of God born of a virgin in a manger… a miracle I never doubted. But ol’ St. Nick had a Hollywood type of charm, and by Christmas Eve, he had stolen the show.

My dad would ratchet up my excitement, pointing to the red glow in the sky (which was probably pollution). “Hey, Angie, look! There’s Santa Clause! He’s coming.” How did this magical fat man fit all the toys for every boy and girl in the entire world in his sleigh and deliver them in one night? I was awestruck and amazed.

At bedtime, I’d crawl under the covers and lay frozen until dawn. Mom said if Santa caught me peeking, he’d take my toys away. She never told me not to move, but still, I barely breathed.

At the first light of day, I’d dash down the hall and shriek, “He came! He came!” I’d survey my toys and then run into my parent’s room. “Dad, you’ll never guess what Santa brought! A Barbie house, a record player…”

“No way. I don’t believe it,” he answered in a sleepy voice, playing along. Of course, I had no idea Santa had stayed up a little too late, having a few Christmas cocktails.  I was a bona fide believer.

When bigger kids told me Santa wasn’t real, my faith wasn’t shaken. “Do you think my parents could afford to buy me a bike, a Brooke Shields Fashion Face, AND a My Pretty Pony? I don’t think so!”

Then one year, the magic went away. I walked in the garage on Christmas evening and saw empty boxes that had previously held my toys. If my toys came from Santa’s workshop, what’s with all the boxes? I asked my mom about it, and the look on her face said everything. Santa’s cover was blown.

From that year on, my parents thought Christmas was Totally Boring. And it was my fault for no longer believing in Santa Clause. I continued to torture my mom as my husband and I dated for five years before getting married, and then waited another five to have kids.

Now, finally. Santa’s back. Christmas is fun again. I’m already rehearsing my speech the day my oldest son discovers it’s all a big sham and ruins it for his younger brother. I will remind them of the true meaning of Christmas. I will share the history of Kris Kringle and how believing in Santa is just a fun way to keep the spirit and magic of the Christmas season alive.

Then, it will be my turn to start counting the days until I get some grandchildren.    

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friday's big stories

News just in… the videos of baby Blake have been recovered. Like bits and pieces of shredded paper, my friend George (not the geek squad) pieced together memories that had been scattered and swept into the depths of my hard drive. Thanks to George, I was able to witness something I never got to see… Dillon meeting his baby brother for the first time. To say I’m ecstatic is an understatement. The life lessons from this experience have not been lost on me (be present, count my blessings, back up my hard drive) but since we’re leading up to Thanksgiving and my focus has been on gratitude, I’m just going to say another big fat THANK YOU and be happy.

In other news, my girl Oprah says she’s calling it quits in 2011. My first reaction was “Nooooooo…..! Not before I finish my book, you invite me on your show and I become an overnight bestseller!” Guess I’ll have to work faster on this book or start my own talk show. I kid, I kid. (Okay, not really)

Finally, my latest essay in Hybrid Mom explores the tough choices we make as moms. The support I’ve received from readers so far has been overwhelming. Women (not just moms) are inundated with choices and it can be difficult to strike a balance. As we dance between taking care of ourselves and taking care of others… the more encouragement and support we can give one another the better. Click here to read “My Preschool Dropout.”

Have a great weekend everyone. I’m counting the days ’til I sink my teeth in my mom’s 21 lb turkey. I can already smell the mac ‘n cheese! Okay, starving now.

gratitude

I’m taking part in a little “project” on Facebook. I’ve joined many others who have committed to declaring what they are thankful for, every day until Thanksgiving. I guess you could call it a “feel good movement,” and it really works!

Getting in the habit of expressing gratitude each day doesn’t take away from the fact that we all still have things we want and need. But if we start from a place of thanksgiving, shifting our focus from what we lack to what we already have, we are preparing our mind and spirit to let more of the good stuff in. Saying a simple “thank you” helps us remain open to the blessings and gifts just waiting to come our way.

How do I know? Because I’ve seen it happen in my own life, time and time again.

So will you join me? You can start, by sharing what you’re thankful for right here on the blog. I’m always grateful for your comments. :)

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station 35

Today is my birthday. This weekend, I celebrated with my family. I made a wish when I blew out the candles, and I ain’t gonna lie, it will be totally awesome if (when) it comes true.

But today, I say a prayer of gratitude. I ask for nothing. Where I am today, in this stage in my life, is exactly where I’m supposed to be.

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