It's the little things...
My husband jokes with our children, “Don’t do drugs. Don’t go into TV.” We are both journalism majors, and we met in a TV production class in college. He taught me how to edit video (ahhhh) and we worked at three television stations together.
But despite Daddy’s wishes, it looks like big baby Blake has the broadcasting bug. He stole the show during a recent visit to Moms in the Morning on Chick FM. [Read more...]
It’s twenty days until the 2010 Moms’ Run and I’m trying not to hyperventilate. There’s something about planning a major event that is very fulfilling… it’s amazing to see all the hard work come together and take on a life of its own. But that’s also what’s so scary about it. Doing something so big requires a lot of planning, a lot of forward thinking, a lot of anticipating things that may go wrong. But on race day, I will have to shift gears and go with the flow. It will be a true exercise in living in the moment.
This morning, I had the best intentions of starting the week organized and prepared. [Read more...]
For as long as I’ve been blogging (coming up on two years) I have never written something that has generated 50+ comments. That is, until recently, when one of the essays I wrote for Hybrid Mom was posted on the front page of the parenting section of Shine.
I wrote it many months ago, when baby Blake was barely out of the womb and Dillon was adjusting to being a big brother and learning how to share his mommy’s attention. And I, despite my “village” of support was struggling to find a new routine.
So I wrote about the experience. I picked a slice of my life and turned it into a story. I poked fun at myself. I exposed my insecurities and my strengths. And I hope, I encouraged so many moms out there who may have been struggling with their choices. To remind them that they’re doing okay.
This weekend, as I discovered the article on Shine and watched the comments pouring in, I had to dig down deep and remind myself why I choose to tell stories about my life and to practice what I preach. Many of the comments were supportive. Some were indifferent. But the critics, although currently the minority, were harsh.
“Be an adult!”
“Loser!”
“B**ch!”
Those were the among the worst. Other critics wrote things I had actually thought myself:
“You sound a little self-centered.”
“You showed your son that when things get tough it’s okay to quit.”
“The problem is YOU! Get it together. Learn how to plan better.”
Others debated the merits of preschool, which wasn’t really my point, but they were within their right to do, and I understand why my story would initiate that conversation. One of my goals as a writer is to build a community of like-minded people. I do not expect everyone to agree with everything I write. In fact, I love discussions with different points of view. Especially when they come from a foundation of respect.
But hatred doesn’t sit well with me. I have a feeling in this new media, where writers can publish their work online and readers have instant access to respond however they wish, this is only the beginning.
In the meantime, I want to leave you with a couple of quotes. The first one arrived today from Angel Roberts, the instructor of Daniel Island Hip Hop. (As a total aside, her class is FU-UN!)
Angel wrote:
You all have such power within you. By sharing your joy, giving your love and standing firm as your true and beautiful selves, refusing to be changed by the world —we WILL change the world— if only a little at a time.
Since Friday, this quote from Marianne Williamson has been on my mind. This one really resonates with my soul. I hope it inspires you as much as it does me.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
You may be wondering where I’ve been all week. Or if you’re like me, you’re completely unaware a whole week has passed. Tuesday, I drove to Columbia to give a talk to the Greater Columbia Area Mothers of Twins. The next thing I knew, it was Friday morning.
That’s when I remembered I was supposed to send my son to preschool in his “silliest, Seussiest socks or shoes.” My son is very silly, and very Seussy, but all his socks are white, and he has outgrown his obnoxious Thomas the Train boots and fuzzy Wiggles slippers. So I needed to buy or borrow something.
Two days earlier, I told myself not to forget. I told my husband to remind me not to forget. We both forgot. So Friday morning, I dragged my children out the door 30 minutes early to stop by Wal-Mart on the way to school. I went to the kid shoe section in search of some funny slippers, only to learn they were out of stock until the holidays.
As I was rethinking my plan, my son spotted a pair of Lightning McQueen tennis shoes. I didn’t find them particularly silly or Seussy, but they would do. He was so excited about his new zippy shoes, he started running down the aisle.
“Stop running…” I could barely get the words out of my mouth. I saw what was happening but couldn’t do a thing about it.
SMACK!
My son’s face collided with a metal pole in the center of the aisle. He started screaming, and the baby joined the chorus. I pulled off his glasses and examined his forehead, watching the bruise form under his skin. A Wal-Mart employee heard the commotion and checked to see what had happened. Then, she insisted we fill out an incident report. We were now five minutes late to school. (I take whacks to the head very seriously, and despite all the drama, fortunately, it was a minor bump.)
On the way to the checkout line, we saw a pair of purple, polka-dotted socks. Very silly and very Seussy. My son’s smile came back. We grabbed the socks. Now, we were 10 minutes late to school.
“Sorry, this lane is closed,” the cashier said and pointed to the open lanes on the other side of the store.
I trekked across the store, made the purchase and grabbed the bag. Then the clerk said, “Oh, I forgot to ring up the socks.” I grit my teeth and bit my tongue.
Once in the car, I dressed my son in his new purple polka-dotted socks and Lightning McQueen shoes. I rolled up his jeans to his knees for effect. He was happy, but I was unnerved.
We arrived at school 30 minutes late. I told the teacher about my son’s face-to-face meeting with the pole and asked her to keep an eye on him. He was already showing off his purple-polka dotted socks.
I left asking myself questions that were ultimately pointless, because what’s done is done. How could I forget? How did something that was supposed to be fun turn out to be, so, not?
Was I really the same woman who gave an inspirational talk to a group of moms earlier in the week?
Then I remembered a message I received from a mom in the audience. You can read more over at Hybrid Mom.
I became my own boss so I could be in charge of my work-life balance, and this week I realized it was time to brush up on my management skills.
Have you ever had those days when everything is clicking and moving and grooving—you’re on fire with productivity? I have those days, too. When I’m drunk on adrenaline, [Read more...]
… I was lying in a hospital bed, playing cards with my best friend, taking bets on the size and weight of my baby boy. At 11:46 pm, Dillon arrived weighing in at 6 pounds, 10 ounces and 20 inches long. I can’t remember who won the bet.
I can remember how magical it felt to lock eyes with my son. [Read more...]
I had a wonderful telephone conversation with my grandmother recently. The surface of small-talk was broken, and suddenly we were chatting candidly about how different it is today. [Read more...]
At 35, I think I’ve finally earned the right to call myself a “grown-up.” At least it’s taken me this long to feel like one. And there are days I still have my doubts.
I spent my 20′s trying to figure out what success really meant to me… how it looked, how it felt, what I should be doing when. Oh, the dreaded success deadline. I was always [Read more...]
I’ve decided to declare Mondays “Not So SuperMomday.” I have been a regular contributor to Hybrid Mom for about six months, and I’m now an official member of the Hybrid Mom Blog Team. My posts will appear each Monday.
So on this Not So SuperMomday I share my secrets to losing the baby weight. I babble on with lots of silliness, but near the bottom you’ll find the point to my story. Click here to read Getting in the Zone.
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