MyMeWriMo

Today marks the end of National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo.) During NaNoWriMo, writers around the world pound on their keyboards in a just-for-fun race to complete a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. The purpose? Quantity not Quality. You’ll find this on the NaNoWriMo website:

“Make no mistake: You will be writing a lot of crap. And that’s a good thing. By forcing yourself to write so intensely, you are giving yourself permission to make mistakes. To forgo the endless tweaking and editing and just create. To build without tearing down.”

I didn’t participate in NaNoWriMo but now I’m asking myself, why not? One of the main purposes of this blog is to take you along on my journey of writing a book. I have a couple of chapters roughed out, but that’s as far as it’s gotten. Okay, I did have a baby this summer so I’m not going to beat myself up about it. But here are some other reasons I haven’t been working on the book:

Perfectionism (what if I write it and it sucks?) Fear (what if I write it and it sucks?)

Did you think I was going to say lack of time? Sure, my hands are plenty full. But each time I sit down to work on the book, here’s what I do:

Check email. Check Facebook. Check Twitter. Go to the fridge and grab a Diet Coke. Think of a cute little blog post and write that instead.

The truth is, I love blogging and writing short essays. I get instant gratification. Many times, I can see the story and the point I want to make before I even begin typing. I love the clarity and certainty of it.

There’s a book inside me. But the story is messy. Writing it is going to require a little more risk. A little more faith. And I have no idea where it’s going to lead. But here’s the real truth about me: If I don’t give myself a deadline, I will never know. Without a deadline, “Write Book” will remain at the bottom of my long list of things to do.

So here’s the deal: I have declared December MyMeWriMo. My Memoir Writing Month. For the next 31 days, I’m committing myself to the rough draft. I’m giving myself permission to write a lot of crap.

I’ll keep you posted.

aspiring author's candy shop

I had a pretty fantastic Sunday afternoon. Baby Blake and I went on a date to the Lowcountry Women Author’s Holiday Book Signing, hosted by the Center for Women. My goal is to sit behind one of those tables one day, selling and signing copies of my own book. In the meantime, I’m quite content being a fan. It’s inspiring to know so many talented women writers hail from Charleston. 

sue monk kidd

Secret Life of Bees author Sue Monk Kidd was gracious to allow me to snap a photo with her. I’m currently reading her latest book, Traveling with Pomegranates, a memoir she wrote with her daughter Ann Kidd Taylor. I’m only a couple of chapters in, and it’s breathtaking.

klj

 Here I am with Kelly Love Johnson, author of Skirt! Rules for the Workplace: An Irreverant Guide to Advancing Your Career. I have followed Kelly Love’s writing career for years… she’s a master at the personal essay. I’m happy I’ve had the opportunity to get to know her and that I can now call her my friend.

margaret

 I recently met Margaret Seidler, author of Power Surge… wait for it… at the gym. Seidler is an author, master trainer and speaker and still manages to find time to teach spinning. She won’t let up and I think I agreed to take her class this Tuesday. 

beth webb hart

I walked away with one new purchase: a copy of Beth Webb Hart’s novel, Grace at Low Tide. Hart and I chatted for a bit… lowcountry women are really sweet, ya’ll. Can’t wait to read her work.

Jennie B

And the final highlight of the afternoon, meeting The Sassy Steel Magnolia! It was so fun to see my cyber friend emerge from Twitterverse. She is actually a real, live person. 

It’s not everyday I have the honor of being surrounded by greatness. I think Blake left with a few phone numbers.

New FTC rules require bloggers to disclose if they have received compensation or free items in exchange for product reviews. My flattery is genuine and I have collected the books I mentioned over the past couple of years. I bought each one with my own money and waited my turn to have them signed… I didn’t even cut in line.

friday's big stories

News just in… the videos of baby Blake have been recovered. Like bits and pieces of shredded paper, my friend George (not the geek squad) pieced together memories that had been scattered and swept into the depths of my hard drive. Thanks to George, I was able to witness something I never got to see… Dillon meeting his baby brother for the first time. To say I’m ecstatic is an understatement. The life lessons from this experience have not been lost on me (be present, count my blessings, back up my hard drive) but since we’re leading up to Thanksgiving and my focus has been on gratitude, I’m just going to say another big fat THANK YOU and be happy.

In other news, my girl Oprah says she’s calling it quits in 2011. My first reaction was “Nooooooo…..! Not before I finish my book, you invite me on your show and I become an overnight bestseller!” Guess I’ll have to work faster on this book or start my own talk show. I kid, I kid. (Okay, not really)

Finally, my latest essay in Hybrid Mom explores the tough choices we make as moms. The support I’ve received from readers so far has been overwhelming. Women (not just moms) are inundated with choices and it can be difficult to strike a balance. As we dance between taking care of ourselves and taking care of others… the more encouragement and support we can give one another the better. Click here to read “My Preschool Dropout.”

Have a great weekend everyone. I’m counting the days ’til I sink my teeth in my mom’s 21 lb turkey. I can already smell the mac ‘n cheese! Okay, starving now.

expressing your passion

This weekend I received the sweetest card from Jennie B in SC, along with some super-cool mix CD’s. Oh, how I love me some Sugarland. The words in her card reminded me of something very important. I featured Jennie on my blog this summer; she said the post gave her an opportunity to “legitimately express” her “love and passion for writing.”

I stopped for a moment and reflected on how powerful that was to her. And then I realized we had something in common. The reason I relaunched my blog back in May, under the new name, “under the MAC” was to do the same thing– to publicly announce and validate my own love for writing. This blog helps keep me focused, holds me accountable, and sparks my creativity. Writing stories that entertain and inspire makes me feel alive, whole. When I open myself up to you, I feel vulnerable at times. But it’s worth it. I get an abiding sense that I’m tapping into my true purpose.

So what’s your passion? Are you legitimately expressing it?

ps- Jennie B has a new blog home now. You can find her over at The Sassy Steel Magnolia. I’ll be a guest blogger over there next month. Stay tuned!

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matters of the heart

Many of the themes in my writing are inspired by a major life transition. If you follow this blog or know me personally, you know I used to work full-time in television news. I worked my way through the ranks: college degree in journalism, intern, producer, reporter and anchor. I did what most “successful” people are taught to do. Define the goal and then map out the steps to get there.

The mistake I made was thinking that success, aka the road to happiness, was linear. I was on the fast track and never expected to get derailed. But I did. And it wrecked me. And it was the best thing that ever happened. It took me a long time to see it that way… but I learned so many universal truths and now, in this stage in my life, I feel compelled to share them.

I explore this topic further over at Hybrid Mom. Click here to read part one of my story. Click here to read part two.

The two essays in no way tell the whole story, nor are they meant to. I wrote them as a simple gesture, to encourage my readers to listen to yourself, to trust what your heart is calling you to do. For me, the heart (not to be confused with emotion) is where the deepest truths, peace and fulfillment are discovered.

If you have a story to tell, I invite you to share it with me. Thanks for reading and participating in the conversation.

Angie

Click here to return the blog’s home page.

perspective

This week I was taught, once again, the value of perspective. When I find myself really stressed out and totally confused, it usually means I have lost sight of the bigger picture. I get so bogged down in the tiny details of my circumstances I can’t see my way out.

About a year ago, I wrote about how my son got glasses, and it changed the way he saw the world. Before his new specs, he didn’t realize what he was missing. After a couple of days, I no longer had to chase him around the house or bribe him with candy to get him to wear them. Today, he puts them on without a fight. He has a new perspective, and he likes it.

020

I emailed a friend last night– and admitted that navigating life transitions with ease is not my specialty. I am in love with my children, but I’ve been conflicted about my desire to stay home with them AND my desire to pursue my writing career. I’ve met lots of moms who have shown me it’s possible to do both. It can get really messy. But if it’s worth having, it’s worth chasing.

I was torn, because it seemed I had competing values. As I write this sentence, my three year old keeps kissing me on the lips. Sometimes I wonder if there’s room in my heart to handle all the love. Am I equipped to receive the abundance? It’s mine to have, as soon as I change my perspective.

Lately, I’ve been surrounded by a lot of noise– joyful noise– but noise nonetheless. This week my husband took a day off work (LOVE HIM) to spend time with the kids while I got out. For a few hours, I was able to escape the external noise and the unproductive chatter in my head. In a moment of quiet, I was able to step outside my circumstances and see the bigger picture. And by the end of the day, I discovered that most of my prayers had already been answered. Even though I had felt like I had lost my connection, I realized I was never alone.

Can I getta Amen?

Stay gold, ponyboy

When I was in middle school, some of my best girlfriends became obsessed with the movie The Outsiders. It was actually this scene,where Ponyboy recites Robert Frost’s poem, Nothing Gold Can Stay. So as children, we made a pact to remind each other to Stay Gold. What’s amazing, is that these girls are still some of my very best friends. Our playground conversations inspired my latest essay for Hybrid Mom. You may want to read it if:

-you rely on coffee to start your day

-you’re a parent

-you want to start your holiday weekend remembering what’s truly important in your life.

Click here to read Coffee Pot of Gold. If you like it, please let the folks at Hybrid Mom know by posting your comments under the essay.

Happy Labor Day, and remember to Stay Gold.

Harriet was on to something…

I have fond memories of going to the grocery store with my grandmother. While she browsed Doscher’s, I’d slip next door to the Book Bag. I’d sit on the floor and read Judy Blume and Beverly Cleary books, and wait for MeMa to come back to get me. Then I’d smile sweetly and convince her to buy me something.

It seems odd she allowed me to go to another store by myself. But this was back when people still smoked in the car with the windows rolled up, and riding shotgun meant standing up in the front seat. Did seat belts even exist back then?

ANYWAY– on one of those trips to the Book Bag, I discovered Harriet the Spy. That sneaky little sleuth helped inspire the writer I am today. Soon, I had my own notebook and pen and I was jotting down notes about everything I saw. I convinced my best friend Meg to join me on my mission, and we carved our spy names, Victoria Brewington (Meg) and Veronica Bates (me) into one of the piers at Folly Beach.

Harriet taught me I could write any time, any place. I didn’t need to schedule it. My ability to create was not dependent upon finding a coffee shop with free Wi-Fi.

I have fantasies of what the writing life looks like, and it always involves visions of me pounding away at the keyboard for hours, uninterrupted, in a room with burning candles, free flowing lattes and light jazz music playing in the background. My muse would REALLY REALLY love that.

Instead, I’m writing this while standing up at the kitchen counter. It’s before dawn, my baby  just did something very offensive in his diaper, and my coffee cup is empty.

In the midst the mess, Harriet has come back to me, reminding me that some of my best writing is unveiled in the rough draft, when I’m able to hold the pen in my hand and scribble ideas, sentences and pieces of story on the page. She reminded me to let go of my perfectionism and do what I love to do.

So Harriet, thank you. Now would you do me another favor and change Blake’s diaper?

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Hybrid Mom

I’m so happy to be back. I’ve missed blogging on a regular basis and receiving your comments. My writing voice (and all my other ones for that matter) are still infused with fluctuating hormones and sleep deprivation, but maybe that will make things more interesting!

For those just tuning in, I delivered my second son six weeks ago. Everyone is doing well.

cover-summer-2009-largeI wanted to start with a quick note that I am now a contributor to Hybrid Mom. My articles will appear on the magazine’s website a couple of times a month. I’m thrilled to have this opportunity. My first essay, Age is Relative, Life is Right Now, is already up if you want to check it out. If you do, please post comments on the Hybrid Mom site. (Even if you read the story when it appeared in the Post and Courier back in May.)  

Hybrid Mom’s tag line is “Mother Your Ambitions.” I love that message. Because what do mothers do? They nurture. I think it’s so important to hold on to the things that inspire us, recognize our unique gifts and talents, and actively seek our purpose and place in this world. In other words, nurture your ambitions!

I’m thrilled I’m at a place in my life where my personal and professional aspirations are getting their groove on and dancing in sync. It’s been quite a journey. So now, I’m expressing my gratitude and seizing the moment.

I’m so glad you’re here! I hate to dance alone. Although I’ve been known to do it.

See ya back here soon. And if you’re on your way to Starbucks, grab me a latte ,will ya? Or order an extra shot of espresso in honor of me!

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Finding the beauty in life’s imperfections

katherine-centerI’ve recently become a raving fan of author Katherine Center. She writes amazing essays and fiction books; a simple sentence can make my heart stop beating for a moment. Recently, Center took time out of her own busy schedule talk to me about her work:

Angie: You first caught my attention when you posted the essay, “Nothing Worthwhile Is Ever Easy,” on Blogging Authors. In the essay, you wrote, “Nothing that doesn’t push you past your limits can change your life. It’s true of work, it’s true of parenting, and it’s true-a hundred times over-of love.” Much of your writing seems to urge the reader to realize that beauty is found in life’s imperfections.

Katherine Center: Absolutely.  Because that’s something I believe, and something I’m always trying to remind myself.  You have to look for the beauty in struggles and challenges. You have to make a choice to see the beauty there. Sometimes the hard things we do just feel hard. It’s not always possible to appreciate the wisdom you’re gaining in the moment that it’s happening.  But later, when wisdom comes, you know where it’s come from.  When you’ve been around long enough, you start to see the patterns.  I guess that’s the upside of not being young anymore… You know from experience that the struggle always leads, in some way, to something better.

everyone-is-beautifulAngie: I recently read your novel, “Everyone is Beautiful,” which tells the story of Lanie, a stay-at-home mom of three boys. Wearing oversized t-shirts and covered in peanut butter and jelly, Lanie yearns to reconnect with who she was, before marriage and kids. Lanie is such a mess, and at the same time, so down-to-earth and likable. Who– or what– inspired her character?

Center: In some ways, she’s me.  Or at least, her big struggle–how to take good enough care of herself and also take good enough care of her family–is like mine.  Though everybody I know with young kids seems to be struggling with that question: How to do a good enough job with all the important things in life. 

I met a woman at a book club the other night who was so disappointed that I wasn’t actually Lanie.  I like Lanie a lot, though.  I like to write about people who are real and likeable.  I like to write about people who tell their stories in that close and intimate voice we use with best friends. I love the closeness and honesty and vulnerability that come from characters who can talk that way.  All my main characters are like that–people I’d love to sit around having coffee with. They are people who will tell you honestly about the things that scare them and worry them and trouble them.  Because those moments of connection between women–when they really decide to be honest with each other about their lives–are some of the best things in life.  

Angie: I totally agree! Eventually Lanie stops longing for the person she used to be, and embraces the woman she is today. I don’t want to give anything away, but what makes her transformation so powerful?

Center: Motherhood changes you.  Life changes you.  And that’s not a bad thing!  We are supposed to grow up and mature and get old.  That’s how it’s been for all of human history. And there are real advantages to doing all of those things.  But we live in this funny culture that wants to keep us all looking (and maybe even acting) like we’re 20.  There’s something so exhausting about fighting the natural cycle of things.  For Lanie to just accept herself as she is, in that moment of her life, as a mom, for what that means…  I think it’s something we all wish we could do, on some level.  Just relax and be ourselves.

the-bright-side-of-disasterAngie: Your first novel, “The Bright Side of Disaster,” is next on my must-read list. In it, very pregnant Jenny is unexpectedly thrust into the world of single-motherhood. This excerpt from the book made me catch my breath: “When I said… this is the end, I meant, the end of the life I thought I was going to have.” Most of us can recall a moment when we realize our life is no longer going according to script. It can be difficult to accept. But I’ve learned that sometimes, when life takes us in a different direction, it’s actually doing us a favor. Do you agree?

Center: I do.  The tagline for that book is:  ”Sometimes the worst thing that can happen is exactly what you’ve been waiting for.”   

There’s a great Garrison Keillor quote that runs through my head a lot:  ”Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have…”  Some of the greatest ideas we have come from making do.  Life never gives you what you’re expecting, and that’s what keeps it interesting.  What matters most is how you respond to your heartbreaks and your disappointments and your fears.  What matters most is who you become in response to them.  

Angie: What motivates you to do the work you do?

Center: I think stories are intensely comforting.  Stories about people we can relate to and care about–well-told stories that make us laugh and sweep us into them.  It’s a really powerful thing to sink into a novel and let it pull you out of your own life a little.  

Writing a novel is a lot like reading one.  The people and events appear on the page, and you follow them and see where they’re going.  You hear them talking.  You have some influence over them, of course, if you’re the author of the story.  But half the time, they’re surprising you. 

So in some real way, I’m just motivated by pleasure.  It’s just fun. I’m writing the books I’d like to read… 

Angie: And they are books I like to read, too. You can learn more about Katherine Center’s work by visiting her website or her blog.

I’ll leave with you a must-watch video excerpt from Center’s essay, “Things To Remember Not To Forget.”

 

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