For Those In-Between Days

Sep 4

It may be an unpopular opinion, but I’m sad to see this summer go.

It’s still blazing hot outside, and sometimes the air feels like I’m breathing under an itchy wool blanket. And earlier this month, the heat index in Charleston rose to 117. That day, my phone overheated and shut down inside my air-conditioned car.

So I won’t miss that.

But here’s what I will miss: sunset boat rides, a looser schedule, and the buzz of a full house.

When the kids were younger, by late July, the lack of routine would really get to me. Now, as they get older and more independent but still ask, what’s for dinner? I see the rhythm inside the chaos and have learned to lean into it.

Actually, I’ve gotten pretty good at it. As wistful as I can get sometimes about their childhoods coming to an end, I’m proud (and surprised) to say that this season is where I’m really shining as a parent.

This reminds me of when I started my TV news career: every time I got the hang of the fast-paced newsroom life, my responsibilities changed. The boss would give me something new and different to do, and it felt like I was starting all over again.

I like how it is right now. But I know that summers like these—when all five of us live together under one roof—are coming to an end. I don’t want to learn how to do the next part, but I know that I will.

Dillon is now a junior in college. Blake is a senior in high school (and taller than everyone), and Cate is a freshman.

Cate is ready for pumpkin-scented candles. I’m clearly not. But I get it. When the air signals the first hint of fall in the south, I’ll light my sweet and spicy candles and love them, too.

But September feels like a transitional month for me, where I’m mentally and emotionally in two places at once. I’m still floating in the lake while also preparing for the college football tailgate this weekend.

After decades of adulting and raising a family, I still haven’t made peace with change, not all the way. But I have made peace with the fact that change exists, that it’s a regular part of life.

And that’s something. It means I’ve come to understand that these transitional days, when I’m living in the space between where I’ve been and where I’m going, these days matter. There’s plenty to observe, learn, experience, and enjoy here too.

So I’m walking slowly into fall, and looking back over my shoulder at the same time.