How Do You Create Community?

One night while I was making dinner, my husband sat at the kitchen counter and asked, “What did you love the most about today?”

His tone was curious and somewhat playful—he doesn’t usually ask me a question like this, at least not in these exact words. Perhaps my vibe was giving I didn’t love anything about today, so he decided to come at the question from a different angle.

It worked because I thought about it for a moment, and the answer surfaced easily. “What I loved the most about today was when everyone in my workout class started singing out loud to a song at the same time.”

The song was “Fergalicious” by Fergie, which added to the hilarity. Grown adults of different ages, races, genders, and sexual orientations, all up in the gym working on our fitness.

Aside from the owners and a few other members, I don’t know my exercise mates that well. When I started going consistently last year, I definitely felt like the new girl.

But early on, I noticed that the man who gave me a fist bump after class actually walks around and fist-bumps everyone. Every time. And eventually, I noticed the collective energy in the room leaves me feeling better than when I arrived.

Our commonality is the workout—coming together around a goal to feel good and be healthy. It’s the kind of workout where you can escape to your own mind and focus on yourself if that’s needed, but there’s also a sense of community that’s undeniable.

The spontaneous singing and my fist-bumping friend helped me see it.

It got me thinking about others I’ve observed recently who are actively creating community:

• The new neighbors who knocked on our door last fall with homemade pumpkin cookies and an invitation to their baby’s first birthday party.
  

• The woman who leads a local networking group for people who are new to town. I was a guest speaker at one of their gatherings. She read my book and invited me later to meet for drinks. We hit it off immediately, but I wouldn’t have known that if it weren’t for her actively creating a sense of community in her own life.
  

• The book club that read my book and invited me to join their conversation. Every one of them was new to town, and the book club was one way they found community.

I’ve been thinking about community and what connects us to the outside world ever since the release of “Girl in the Spotlight,” a story that traces my deep-seated longing for home.

Along the way, I’ve learned that creating a life that feels like home is mostly an inside job. We need to find peace and a sense of groundedness within ourselves.

And, we also need community. Sometimes we accidentally discover it, and sometimes we decide to create it for ourselves.

How have you discovered or created community in your own life? If you don’t have it now, can you recall a time when you did? What did the experience teach you?