When Cate was three weeks old, she was admitted to the hospital for a few days because she had RSV. My friend Kristi stopped by to visit, and I remember how good it felt to have her there even though I also felt and acted like a zombie. I was unable to process coherent thoughts. I was tired.
I apologized for my inability to have a conversation, and I'll never forget what she said.
"Angie, you don't have to perform."
And it's funny that I felt the need to try. She was there for me. She did not need or want me to entertain her. I wanted her to understand that her presence was appreciated, but I suppose she already knew that.
I thought of that story after receiving so many thoughtful responses to last week's post about confidence.
Vera commented, "I don't think I'll ever stop the negative self talk... but I try to be nicer and more forgiving."
And in my email inbox, Solange wrote that her best self is, "right here, right now. Isn't that what it's all about?! Being in full acceptance of self. Right here. Right now. Perfectly imperfect."
To both of them, I say, Yes. Yes to being more accepting. Forgiving. Yes to being just a little bit nicer to ourselves when we don't meet our own, or other people's, expectations.
In those moments when we allow ourselves to "just be", we're reminded that we don't have to perform. Who we are is enough. At the same time, I believe there are so many things we can DO to point us back to, and reflect, who we really are. The being and the doing are connected, I think. It's like a circle.
Have you seen this video by Colbie Caillat? It's soooo powerful and worth watching. To me, it says everything about true confidence, and where to find it.
"Take your makeup off. Let your hair down. Take a breath. Look into the mirror, at yourself. Don't you like you? 'Cause I like you."